The Splendid and Most Satisfying Life of a Working Mother

This is most mornings:

    Shoot! I pressed that snooze one too many times.
    Jump in the shower--don't wake up kids!
    Brush teeth, makeup, dry hair, sweat, apply more makeup, done.
    Get dressed. Nope, needs to be ironed. Change clothes. Done.
    Read Bible, quick!
    Kids awake. Dress them. Quick!
    Minutes. Counting. Down.
    Pop-tart, drink, school bag, extra shoes, sweater, keys. Keys??
    In car. Did I apply deodorant? Yes. Pray. Go.

Ok ladies, and the few men who may run across this blog, are you ready for this?

I believe that God calls some women to work, even when they are raising small children.

When stating opinions, there are bound to be people that disagree. But, God has different plans for each person, and in the world we live in today, He purposes many women to work. Not at home. Believe me, staying at home is no picnic either.

Unlike the perfect Pinterest world, women in Bible times didn't create pre-school activities out of shaving cream and read books to their children all day. They didn't pre-plan cute octopus snacks (guilty) or take them to the zoo.

You know what they did? They worked. Yep. They spent hours out in the fields and over hot coals, their little ones trailing behind them. The Proverbs 31 woman was even a crafty business dealer.

Now, for the record, I admire many women who stay at home. And at times, I do wish for what they have. However, I know that God has a different plan for me right now.

He has provided everything I need to go work. And here are one hundred more reasons why I work: hurting, needy students. So, as I wake up sometime during that five o'clock hour, I can remember that God has a plan for me and my students, and somehow those plans intersect!

Thank you, Lord, for your provision and direction. May other mothers seek you so they won't be so stressed like I get sometimes. You are truly the only One who keeps me going, keeps me satisfied, and gives me the desires to be where you want me to be.

A New Me

Well, about ten months have passed. And here I am again. Finally!

Much has happened since my last post. It's been quite the roller coaster ride. I graduated with my masters and started a doctoral program. My husband took over as pastor of Liberty Church in Alexandria, Louisiana. In December, we received a rather shocking potential diagnosis for Emery which was a huge test of faith. We had to wait an entire month before seeing a neurosurgeon in Baton Rouge. God was constant and faithful, as He always will be, and we received an excellent report. Our little Em, who just begun scooting on her bottom at a year old is now running after her sister. Glory to God.

It's strange how it is easy to be self-focused when I am busy. But I feel Him working in me. God is full of grace because I surely do not deserve to be changed for His glory. I'm trying a new way of living. I want to live small. Odd, I know. I am so tempted to promote myself and gain more notoriety and money. I hate even admitting it...especially on the world wide web. I want my thoughts and the intentions of my heart to be pure and full of love for Jesus, not me.

I'm disgusted at the number of times I look in the mirror and check social networking sites--neither of which are bad--but I do not want to be addicted to myself. I want my heart to be after Jesus. Non-believers who run across this page on the internet will scoff at my words. That's okay. I want to live simply and small.

Small is greatest in the kingdom of God. The little lady that prayed for missionaries without anyone knowing about it will receive just as great, or greater of a reward than people like Billy Graham or Chris Tomlin. What is done is secret will be revealed. I personally think the more glory we receive here on Earth, the lesser reward we receive in heaven.

Be my sufficiency

Be all that I am

More than enough

I have and abound

Though I may be hungry

I may be full

You are my portion

My true reward

Be my sufficiency

Be all that I am

In sorrow and joy

You'll hold my hand

In trials and temptations

You'll lead me through

Jesus, My Friend, I trust in You

A Thousand Moments

This is my month of August in a nutshell:

School year starting!

Tired

Discouraged

Excited

Running on adrenaline

Pop tart wrappers crushed in the cupholder

Snooze button smashing

Baby monitor wailing

Family laughing and babies crying

New camera

Runny noses                                                          In case you were wondering, yes,

Finding sticky pink medicine droplets                     this picture is a joke!

Eighth graders singing "Beautiful Things"              

Jewelry in the pocket, running out the door

3:00 am feedings  (Yes, still)

Dancing to Backyardigans

Clouds of hairspray

Rolling past stop signs

Lunch duty

Playfully hitting husband when kids aren't watching

Sweaty swinging and climbing

Hurricane anticipating

Diaper changing and potty training

Castle building

Fast food eating

Desperate, rushed, and self-centered prayers
Quick scriptures (like trying to enjoy lunch while I'm on duty)

But somehow in the midst of it all, God managed to grab me tight and whisper something sweet:

One day is like a thousand years....

2 Peter 3:8-9
 But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day.

Usually I hear people referring to this scripture when explaining how God is outside of time or even how the world may have been created.  They concentrate on the "a thousand years is like a day" part. 

But let me slow down and read the first part.  One day is like a thousand years.

One day is like a thousand years to God?

He smiled down on me and let me see.  I got a glimpse of how He knows every moment of every person.  He cares for every moment.  Thousands of moments in my day are seen by God and loved by God.  And yours, too.

 Ps 56:8

8 You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
NKJV (emphasis mine)

Ps 139:13-16

13 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
14 I thank you, High God — you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration — what a creation!
15 You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
16 Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

(from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.) (Emphasis mine.)

And She Wrapped Him in Swaddling Clothes...

As a desperate, sleep deprived, frazzled (victoriously frazzled) mother, I swaddled Ellington.  From the day she was born until she could crawl, I swaddled her.  Now I still swaddle little six-month old Emery. 

 

For those of you who may not know how swaddling works, you lay the baby on a blanket, fold the blanket over the right arm and tuck, tuck the bottom over the feet by the right arm, and fold the rest of the blanket around the left arm. 

I personally feel that the tighter the blanket is around the baby, the longer the baby will sleep!  I fold and tuck, jerk and tuck, jerk and tuck more, then cinch it tight.  Yes, she does look slightly mummified, but maybe, just maybe, she'll sleep an hour longer. 

If my closest friends and family read this, they may be thinking, "Has she gone crazy? Now she's blogging about swaddling.  We have got to get her some help."  But I am not ashamed!  Swaddling works.  At least it makes me feel somewhat more in control of my chaotic life! I mean, even Mary swaddled Jesus, right? 

One day this summer, I was getting Em ready for bed.  We were in our bedroom at our old house, window unit blasting cold air down the hallway, lights dimmed, eleven o'clock at night.  I was tired; Andrew was already fast asleep.  Em is wide awake.  I think, "Swaddling always put Ellington to sleep, so I'll go ahead and get her swaddled and in her bassinet."

Emery flails her arms about and smiles as I lean over her.  As I tuck one arm in, the other arm goes up.  I get it down by her side, tuck it in, and the other arm slides up and out of the blanket.  Emery laughs. Start over. 

I tuck the first arm again.  I catch the other flying arm and tuck it in the blanket.  The first arm comes up and slides out of the blanket.  Emery laughs again.  Start over. 

I tuck the first arm again....and so it goes SEVEN more times. 

I admit, the flesh took over and I banged my fists on the bed like a mad woman.  (Yes, mad, in both senses of the word!)

At this point, I am so frustrated with this innocent, laughing, baby, that  I am talking aloud while swaddling her.  "You are GOING to stay in this blanket.  You WILL sleep good tonight.  At least four hours straight!!"

After a couple more times, the conversation sounded like this, "Quit trying to get out!  This is for your own good!  I promise!  Just LET ME SWADDLE YOU!"

Interestingly, God chose this most appropriately ordained moment to teach me a lesson. 

Just like Emery's cinched blanket, as children of God, we see His rules and laws as binding--like something that was created just to hold us back from "having fun" and "living in freedom."  But in the end, it is the truth (the law, the Word of God, His standard of living) that sets us free. 

You see, if I totally did what I wanted to do, I may end up a drunkard, an adulterer, a pleasure seeker, a power hog, an insane woman with fear, and who knows what else.  And when I became that, I would be living an empty, vain, unfulfilled life for myself.  I would die a depressed woman, bound in dispair. 

I need His standards and laws.  I love His law.  It actually frees me.  No, I don't always get to do what I want to do.  However, my soul feels free!  I feel no weight of guilt, fear, unfufillment, emptiness, or pride. 

Like Emery gets her best nights of sleep being swaddled, I get my best life when I am surrendered to His Word and His Way.  She wakes up happier and aware, and I live my life more aware of His presence and His loving hand against my back, guiding my every step. 

Psalm 119

44  I will keep on obeying your instructions forever and ever. 

45  I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments. 

47How I delight in your commands!  How I love them! 

An Oak Planted by the Mississippi

He is real.  Jesus is still alive.  Yes, I know this because I feel His genuine presence.  I can relax in an inexplicable peace.  I am not hungry for things to satisfy my soul.  I am happy.  I am alive inside.  My worth isn't based on my mood or how someone else treats me.  I am alive inside.

I do not feel the need to argue with those who do not know Him.  His presence alone is proof enough for me.  There are too many, way too many miracles and answered prayers...too many perfect, holy whispers in my heart that corrected me or encouraged me.  Too many scriptures that came at just the right moment.  Too many moments of uncontrolled, self-control!  (Uncontrolled in that God was the one who gave me self-control! I can't control myself by myself.) 

I do admit there have been very hard days.  Days when I feel depressed and discouraged.  Sometimes I feel like my soul gets tired or sad.  But then I read the words of the Lord.  He reminded me on one of those dark days, that I need to abide in Jesus.  (John15: 4)  Then I thought, "Did I read the Bible today?  Did I talk to the Lord?  No.  Ok, that's why I'm restless and depressed.  I'm not abiding!" 

[John 15:4  Abide in Me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.] 

Just like a tree gets dry and withered in a drought, my soul thirsts for His presence.  And let me be honest, I don't always thirst for His presence because I just want to spend time with Him.  It is more out of desperation to live.  And not just to survive, but to thrive!  To live life abundantly, as Jesus Himself said it. 

The only way I can truly live is to abide in Him. 

Psalm 1: 2-3                                                                            Erin's version

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,                              If I love your Word and read it and think about it
And in His law he meditates day and night.                       and talk to You about it...


He shall be like a tree                                                             Then I'll be just the person you want me to be

Planted by the rivers of water,                                             Always overflowing in Your presence

                                                                                                  and everything that comes with it

That brings forth its fruit in its season,                              I'll display the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace

                                                                                                  patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness 

                                                                                                  and self control) and accomplish my purpose

Whose leaf also shall not wither;                                       I won't feel like I'm dying inside, loathing myself 

                                                                                                or others. 

And whatever he does shall prosper.                             And whatever You put Me to do will prosper! 

                                                                                              People will ask, "Why does everything in her life

                                                                                              seem to go well?  And when it doesn't, how is

                                                                                              she still at peace?"

My Verdict on Judgment

He drew in the sand.  With thousands of other followers, I too, wish I knew what Jesus wrote and what he was thinking.  Before I accuse someone before the Lord or try to cast a stone OR allow what God does to someone else to affect my faith, I must bend down and write on the ground.  In other words, I must take a moment and reflect when I am tempted to judge. 

First, I need to remember that we are not called to judge those who have not made a commitment to Christ.  Why would I look down on someone who does this or that, when that person never made a commitment not to do those things?  The Word even states that "non Christians" have already been judged for not believing in God's one and only Son.  (John 3:18)

Secondly, when I see other believers sin, I should think to myself, "Erin, if all the circumstances and events in your life were the same as theirs, you may have done the SAME THING!"  If my dad would have walked out on me, if my boyfriend would have abused me, if I went to that high school, then yes, I quite possibly would have made those same decisions. 

I am not called to judge the motives of people. 

Sin is sin.  We do not have to go looking for it.  Anyone who reads the Bible can also plainly see what is considered sin. 

So yes, when I see my brother or sister sin, I know it is sin.  But I will not judge his or her motive for doing it.  I will humbly and lovingly remember that I still sin and am forgiven.  I will also remember that Jesus loves that person as much as He loves me! 

DC pics from 2009.

Much, much more can be said about this topic, but I choose to leave it at that today!  Lord, help me to love like you do.  You know, agape style!

Blessings On a Home

Jesus, as we dwell in this place, may we have:

Baby Gurgles
Unrestrained laughter
The Presence of God
Family games

Sweet sleep
Peace that passes understanding
Uncompromising holiness
Squeals of laughter
Hugs and kisses
Hope for the next day
High expectations
Savory meals
Smells of fresh laundry, baking cookies, and clorox cleanliness
Scripture quoting
Babies growing tall
Submission to authority
Loving correction
The pitter patter of chasing feet
Refreshing rains, especially during nap time--minus the thunder
Intimacy
God directed decisions
Commitment
Health and strength in our bodies
Daily wisdom
Honor
Yes mams and pleases and thank yous
Long evening walks
Relaxing baths
Celebrations
Comfort in sorrow
Childlike faith
Safety in our comings and goings
Purposes to accomplish
Actions that glorify God!