He Loves Me...He Loves Me Not...

I wish that I could go all day–every moment–consciously knowing and feeling God’s love for me.  As I’m buckling the kids into sweltering car seats…He loves me so much!  As I’m browning ground beef…He loves me so very much!  But it is so very hard for me.

To think– God loves me.  He enjoys me!  Say it out loud– God enjoys me.

Yes, the many days that I have  bad attitudes and make wrong choices, I feel the weight of God’s furrowed brow and harsh cold eyes.  I hear, “Three days, Erin,  since you’ve read the Bible.  And pray?  Ha! You’ll have terrible children at the rate you’re going!”

But if I listen close enough, I notice it’s the same slithering, stealthy voice that seduced Eve.  The enemy.

God does not love the way humans love.  (I’m so glad!)  He doesn’t count up mistakes and hold them against us.  He doesn’t make decisions on a whim or based on a mood swing.  He doesn’t sarcastically snap back answers to prayers from a “long lost sinner.”

When I hold my sweet Emery, I feel that overwhelming warmth of love and joy.  Then it HITS me:  He gave His own.  He died.  His love was SO great that He died for me.  (And you!)

So next time I feel condemned, discouraged and well, just plain “snake-ified,” I will remember the words of Paul.

Love (God) is patient.
Love (God) is kind….
Love (God) is not rude…
Love (God) is not irritable  and He keeps no record of being wronged…
Love (God) never gives up, [He's] always hopeful, and Love (God) will last forever!
(Taken from 1 Corinthians 13 NLT)

Yes, He enjoys me.  He loves me.

 It doesn’t even change when I sin so badly:  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  (Rom. 5:8 NKJV)

Oh that I would really know the width and length and depth and height.  To know the love of Christ that passes knowledge… (Eph. 3:18-19)

And so I stop picking the flower on “He loves me!”

(Originally written on June 27, 2012.)